My National Children's Home File
| Part One - Philip - 'A strange child' |
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THEIR HISTORY OF ME or 44783 as I am also known. Clicking on this link will take you to part II - The story of my life in care. "A nervy, highly-strung child, and yet he does not lack confidence." YOUR NCH RECORDS The files of 65,000 children are archived at the Liverpool University, these remain closed for general viewing. http://www.dango.bham.ac.uk/record_details.asp?id=532&recordType=coll The slight problem exists is that some records are basic and give only an adults view of the child. |
The Highfield Branch of the NCH at Harpenden, Herts, contains twenty flats each with eight to eleven children of mixed ages of both boys & girls in a family group, they are looked after by either a Sister or Houseparent. The enclosed site occupies some forty acres including open grassed areas and woodland. Various group activities are available for the children to attend during their free time and a chapel is located in the grounds.The children are now sent to the Infant, Junior and Senior schools in the local town for their education. |
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Please donate now to help us make NCH’s history available to all. |
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| Philip A Strange Child |
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The text part of this site on my life up to the age of eleven and my NCH File, have now been published as a book.
By Philip J. Howard. Price £9.99 |
Published by |
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=========================================================== EACH YEAR A REUNION OF EX CHILDREN AND STAFF TAKE PLACE AT THE MAIN OFFICES OF THE NCH AT HIGHBURY, LONDON. Please contact the NCH at Highbury for more information. ====================================== |
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The NCH have produced leaflets of information on the various branches. --------------------------------------------------------------------------
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"Philip had not shown any unusual behaviour, although he is the only coloured boy in the school." |
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Clicking on the title words on the top left of this page will open other sections. If the buttons on the left of this text is not visible, please click on the link below that will take you to the main page. "The new Houseparent has brought in a strict regime, and Philip realises that he will be punished for any bedwetting." |
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The address of this page is The other main sections are on other pages, please visit these via the buttons on the top left of this page or via the links below. These will give the history of me from my point of view. "I feel it would be very doubtful, without a great deal of support, that the mother would be able adequately to care for this boy and see him through his difficulties if he does return to her in the near future." The sections on Branches of the NCH and photo pages etc. will be added to as more information comes in, so it will be worth visiting these sections from time to time. |
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THE CHILDREN IN CARE As it might be unkind to name other children who have also been in care at the same time as myself, and who have now started new and productive lives. |
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The copyright of this work is claimed by the author Philip J Howard. Please feel free to copy, save, and use any of the items on this page for non-monetary gain. Items found on this site that are claimed by third parties as their copyright, I am not able to give free use of, but otherwise the site is for your full use and enjoyment. A link or reference to this site would be most welcome for any items that you use, but it is not a requirement. ----------------------------------------------------------------- |
| NCH Extended Family |
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An NCH site at ----------------------------------------- |
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If you were in care at any branch of the NCH or Barnardos, there are MSN groups that might be of interest. ------------------------------------------------------------- |
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THE ARCHIVES
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My mother was going to return to London to look after her sick parents. There would not be room in the flat for me. A solution was needed. 1. 27.01.65 Letter to Uncle from Governor NCH Harpenden, asking for an appointment regarding Philip. 2. 01.02.65 Note from NCH regarding a visit to the Uncle. 3. 02.02.65. Letter to Uncle from Child Care Officer. I am writing to ask if I can see you and your sister-in-law on Tuesday morning February 9th, regarding your admission enquiry. 4. 03.02.65 Letter to the NCH at Harpenden from the Uncle. Thank you for your letter. It will be quite convenient for you to see me on Feb 9th, but as my sister-in-law (the mother) is working in the Isle of Wight, it will be rather difficult for her to be here, if that is all right with you may I suggest 11.30 as a suitable time. If there is anything else you wish to know in the meantime, my wife is at home until 1pm each day, and will be pleased to help in any way she can. 5. 10.02.65 Note from Governor of Harpenden. I had a long talk with the uncle and aunt of the boy. The uncle mentioned that he needed to be disciplined as he could be rather badly behaved. Visited The Uncle 09.02.65. The mother is due in London in a week’s time, with her son Philip. She will telephone or write, and I will write full report after seeing them. At present she is living on Isle of Wight. Philip is 8 years old and is half Indian. MY ANSWER. The visit by the Governor and the Child Care Officer to my aunt and uncle seemed to seal my fate. It appears to have been mentioned by him that I needed to be disciplined. I was not really a wild boy, but I was most happy on my own or with just a couple of friends; large group activities were never to my liking. If the comment that I needed discipline had not been mentioned, I might not have been allocated to the flat, that to nearly every child in the Home was one of the least appealing flats in the Home owing to the Sister’s strict but fair regime. The Sister in charge was not unkind in any way, but having possibly the most experience in years over every other member of the staff in looking after boys, her method of upbringing would be the nearest I would get to a father figure for discipline. To give me a title of ‘half Indian’ is not really correct as my father came from Ceylon. |
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6. 23.02.65 Letter to Child Care Officer from The Mother. With reference to a letter from my Sister. I have now returned to London, & would be pleased to have an appointment at any time suitable to you. 7. 24.02.65 Letter to The Mother from Child Care Officer. Thank you for your letter telling me you are now in London. Is it possible to see you during the day on Tuesday, the 2nd March? 8. 26.02.65. Letter to The Child Care Officer from The Mother. Thank you for your letter, I would be very pleased to see you on Tuesday March 2nd; the afternoon would be most suitable, although I shall be at home all day, as I now have my mother home from hospital & she needs rather a lot of attention in the mornings. 9. 02.03.65. NCH FORM Particulars of child for whom admission is sought. Name of child. PHILIP JOHN (Boy). D.O.B. 1957 Place of Birth. Paddington Hospital. Baptized. No Religious Denomination. C of E. Present Address London NW2. With whom. Mother. Name of Father Linton Jansen, Nationality Singhalese (Burger). Country of Origin Ceylon. Occupation Trainee in hotel management. Health Good. Name of Mother Dorothy Moira Howard. Nationality English. D.O.B. 09.10.21. Country of Origin England. Address London NW2. Occupation Ex-housekeeper. Health Good. Religion C of E. Wages Four Pounds, Total weekly income Four Pounds Grandparents Father 88. Retired Accountant. Mother 68 Retired. Aunts and Uncles Harpenden: (Main contact with NCH) Sister & Brother-in-Law. No Children. Harpenden: Sister & Brother-in-Law. Daughter (age 24). Harpenden: Brother & Sister-in-Law. Son (age 6) Daughter (age 8). London: Brother. No Children. Information: regarding the health, character, habits and mentality of the child. Very lively. Lack of concentration. Reason for application. Mother is having to look after her mother who has had a stroke & father 88 years. Lack of accommodation, and supervision for Philip. Who takes responsibility for receiving the child if he should prove unsuitable for continued residence in the Home - Mother. What weekly payment is offered towards the child’s maintenance? - Two Pounds per week plus clothes. MY ANSWER. The reference to my father as a Burger: |
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10. 02.03.65 Report of Child Care Officer. The mother’s sister in Harpenden had originally approached the Governor at Highfield to ask his advice about her nephew Philip. The mother was at the time working as a housekeeper on the Isle of Wight, but I was able to see her this week as she has now come up to London to look after her parents. The mother is 43 years of age, and has so far been able to look after Philip herself during these past years. Just before Christmas, however, her mother had a stroke and has been in hospital up until now. The mother is the only one who is in a position to come and look after their parents. The grandmother is still slightly paralysed by the stroke and has difficulty in speaking; the grandfather who is 88 years has also to be looked after fairly well as he suffers from bronchitis. The mother has a pleasant flat on the second floor, just off the main Edgware road. The mother’s difficulty now is trying to look after Philip at the same time who is a very lively energetic 8-year-old-boy. According to his uncle from Harpenden, he is in great need of discipline. The mother has already told Philip that there is a likelihood he might be going to ‘boarding-school’ and he seemed quite cheerful at this prospect of being with other children. It was very difficult however, to carry on a conversation with Philip as he seemed to suffer from an intense lack of concentration. He seemed a very likeable little boy, and is only lightly coloured. The mother only knew his father a Singhalese, for a very short period, and has since lost all contact with him. The mother is planning to look after her parents indefinitely, but thinks that as soon as her help and support is no longer required she will then be able to find another job as a housekeeper and will have Philip back, but at this stage she thinks he will be slightly more disciplined and that she should then be able to cope with him as well as a job. Her family is now giving her four pounds per week and she is willing to contribute two pounds per week for Philip’s maintenance as well as buying all his clothes. I would like to recommend this application and that if possible Philip could go to Harpenden so that his mother could visit fairly easily as well as all the other relatives who are living in the area. I don’t think the mother would ever lose touch with the boy and she would gladly visit once every three weeks. Possibly when Philip is 11 yrs and changing schools the possibility of him being returned to his mother could then be considered. Governor of Harpenden Notes – After visit by Mother to Highfield. It was originally suggested by the uncle that the boy needed to be disciplined. When the mother was questioned over this matter, she thought it was perhaps a good idea as that at times he could be a bit of a handful. We spoke about the various sanctions that were available; the mother was in agreement that for any minor events, if the Sister in charge of Philip punished him with the slipper, there would be no objection from her. If there were any cases of bad behaviour then she was quite in agreement that he could be punished more severely. MY ANSWER. Describing me as a very lively energetic 8-year-old was perhaps the most accurate words ever spoken. I was on the go from the point I woke up until when I went to bed. If I was perhaps a loner it was due to my mother simply not having as much time due to work, as she would have liked to spend with me, so I was used to playing on my own. A classification of me as an 8-year-old boy today would be that it was quite easy to add the words hyperactive and several of the more modern labels that children who do not seem to fit into the adults standard categories receive. My mother was asked about the matter of punishments I might receive if I did anything wrong during my stay in the Home. When I was small my mother had given me a few light smacks; these were normally enough to bring me back into order. At the age of five my grandmother had once caned me. This did get me to be well behaved, and if my mother had used this form of punishment on me at the time, I knew I would have followed every command she made. From the age of six my mother had normally given me early bedtimes or decided that treats could be suspended, as at my first school the Headmistress was against physical punishments. Had I not gone to that boarding school I might have found my mother could have been a little firmer with me. When I reached seven, the event at the last infant school where I was given the cane, had shown her that I could be kept in order. My mother decided that at the age of seven I was old enough to receive the plimsoll from her over minor matters, which that year were just over a dozen different times for various matters of bad temper, damage to property and wetting the bed. There was the cane for any serious problem. This, my mother had only needed to give me twice. All my punishments from my mother had been quite light in nature; it was done to try to keep me under some kind of control. The Home seemed to have accepted the suggestion from my uncle that I needed to be disciplined; this in my mind was a little unfair as we had so rarely been together. My mother had probably written to her sister telling her of my latest wrongdoing; this was how my uncle came to the idea that I needed to be kept under control. My mother agreed that the Sister in charge of me should use the slipper on me if I became troublesome; if there was anything worse in my behaviour then it was easy to see that the Governor of the Home could intervene. The item in my file “Possibly when Philip is 11 yrs and changing schools the possibility of him being returned to his mother could then be considered.” Was it decided before my arrival at Highfield that I was going to be with them for three years, whatever my family outcome was? If my grandmother and grandfather had died at an age before I was 11-12 years, would I have stayed in the Home, or would my mother have taken me straight out? It might be taken, that the next three to four years in the Home would be used to calm be down, whatever the situation of my grandparents was. I did find out that my mother’s last employer did want her back, but the invitation did not include me. If my grandparents had died early, would my mother have been able to find a housekeeping job that would have taken both of us? Early on, if it had been explained to me, that around the age of eleven there would be a good chance of leaving the Home, then possibly my life would have been a lot easier and the number of problems I caused would have been far less. |
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11. 17.03.65 Letter to Child Care Officer from the Headmistress. The mother came to see me when she was due to leave to go to London and mentioned that she would be making this application. It seemed to us here that Philip badly needs real care and affection and stability of home life. The mother was never prepared to give any information about her own private life, but Philip obviously needs the interests and concern of a father. He was backward in most subjects although he was now beginning to make real progress with his reading. His work was generally messy and untidy. He is highly strung and his behaviour with other children tended to be aggressive and unfriendly. I found it necessary to punish Philip with the cane on one occasion; he found authority very easy to accept once boundaries were set. However, he got on well with all the staff and we all felt that given stability and a proper routine, Philip would make good progress academically and emotionally. Clearly, the residential school he temporally attended was not suitable for him. If the flat he and his mother are living in impose severe restrictions on the boy, and if the aged and sick grandparents make living in the small flat difficult and emotionally strained for him, then I feel strongly that a move would be best for Philip. SCHOOL REPORT from the Headmistress, requested by the NCH. Attitude: Fair, Effort: Fair, Attainment: Weak, English: Weak, Arithmetic: Weak, Social Studies: Weak, Handwork: Weak, Physical Training: Fair. MY ANSWER. The letter and the report from the previous Head Teacher on the Isle of Wight did not really give me a very favourable account. I did not manage any marks in the other grades on the report of Excellent, Good or even Average; but was marked as either Fair or Weak. It was at this school that I found that if you did wrong, punishments would hurt. 12. 19.03.65 Letter to Mother from Child Care Officer. At its meeting this week, our committee agreed to accept your son Philip subject to the completion of the usual documents. The medical Certificate should be completed by a doctor, the School Report by the child’s school teacher and the general Agreement should be signed over a 6d stamp as indicated. When you return these documents, please let us have Philip’s Birth Certificate. We will let you know as soon as we have a vacancy. 13. 27.03.65. General Agreement Form signed by the Mother. I declare that the said child enters the National Children’s Home and Orphanage. I hereby agree that the Principal of the Home is duly authorised shall have the custody care and control. I shall not remove the child from the Home without giving at least one calendar month’s notice in writing (unless the Principal shall consent otherwise in writing) pay to the Home any monies then owing by me to the Home in respect of the said child. That if required by notice of the Principal to do so I will at my own expense remove the said child from the Home within one calendar month after the date of such a notice. That if I shall commit any breach of the forgoing provisions I will forthwith pay to the Home the amount expended in the upbringing of the said child as an ascertained debt calculated at the rate of Three Pounds for each week of the period during which the said child shall have been in residence at any branch of the Home, subject to the deduction from the amount so calculated of any sums paid by me to the Home in respect of the said child. I further agree without reference to me to give instructions for the sanction of carrying out any surgical or dental operations in the said child including vaccinations or immunization of the said child. MY ANSWER. The clauses in the documents allowed the NCH to return me to my mother at very short notice; it also had a penalty condition if my mother wanted my return. The money to keep me might by modern standards not seem very much. At this period there were no benefits the state provided. I was an only child, there was no child benefit for the first child, and my mother was a single parent and there were no benefits on that score either. My mother was not really working in paid employment while looking after her parents, however as she was not unemployed, there were no unemployment payments. The rent for the London flat came from my grandparents’ pension, although the family was never on the poverty line. Rent, heat and food took the vast majority of any available funds. Had there been some benefits, and help to look after my grandparents, the need for me to be sent to the Home may never have been needed. Two sets of aunts and uncles now paid two pounds each to my mother to look after my grandparents. Half of this was now paid to the Children’s Home to look after me. My mother had two pounds a week to add to the budget of the household to provide for her share of the food and heat. If there were to be treats like visits to me and for presents and the like, it had to come out of this amount. |
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14. 20.03.65 Letter to the Previous Head Teacher from the Child Care Officer. Thank you very much indeed for your letter which has been most helpful. Philip is going to be admitted to one of our branches at Harpenden, Herts. and a copy of your letter is being passed on to the Governor. 15. 26.03.65 Medical Certificate from a Doctor to the NCH Name Philip. Age 8. Present health. Good. Sight, hearing and speech. Normal. What diseases has the child suffered. Measles. General observations. In good health, lively & healthy boy. MY ANSWER. The report from the doctor shows that I had no problems; to her my speech was normal. It was not a case of just being seen for a few moments. The doctor lived next door to us. If I had been unusual in any way, there would have been some comment over my speech and behaviour that she had often seen for my first five years of life. 16. 29.03.65 Admission Particulars Form Philip John Age 8 Illegitimate, mother 43 ex-housekeeper, putative father trainee in hotel management whereabouts unknown. Singhalese. Religion of child C of E Payment Two Pounds per week by mother. MY ANSWER Putative = acknowledged, assumed, reputed. 17. 29.03.65. Letter to NCH from Mother. Please find enclosed Medical Certificate, General Agreement, School Report and Birth Certificate. I am sure Philip will be happier living in one of your Homes with other children, than being cooped up in this London flat with two elderly invalids. Thank you for your very kind attention. MY ANSWER Want to bet on me going to be happier in the Home! And I thought I was going to a boarding school. 18. 12.04.65. Letter to Governor of Harpenden NCH from Rev. Gordon. E. Barritt. NCH London. This boy has been accepted by the Committee to come into our care. The enquiry originally came via yourself as relatives live in Harpenden. Philip’s mother lives in NW2, with aged and infirm parents. We would like him to come to Harpenden to enable regular visits from his mother and relatives to be made. Could you please let me know the date you are likely to be able to receive Philip. Note. Added 21.04.65. To Sister in Charge Flat 1: Governor of Harpenden would like this little boy to come into your family. Would any day be convenient for him to come? 19. 22.04.65 Letter to Rev. Gordon. E. Barritt. NCH London from Governor NCH Harpenden. Thank you for your letter of 12th April. We can take this little boy straightaway. 20. 30.04.65 Letter to Mother from Rev. Gordon. E. Barritt. NCH London. I am writing to let you know that we now have a vacancy at our Harpenden branch and could accept your son, Philip at any time. It is understood that when Philip comes into our care you will be able to make a contribution of Two Pounds per week. Will you please see that Philip’s medical card is handed to the Governor. Enclosed is a copy of our Notes to Relatives and a Clothing List, which is to be regarded as a suggestion only and not a condition of the child’s admittance. MY ANSWER. The letter all the adults in the family had been waiting for. There was now room to take me. 21. 06.05.65 Letter to Headmaster Manland Junior School from Governor of Harpenden NCH. Thank you for agreeing to take Philip. For your information, Philip has come into our care because his mother is having to look after her parents, the grandmother has just had a stroke, and the grandfather is 88. 22. Admission card Philip Date of Admission 06.05.65 |
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23. 14.05.65 Letter to Mother from Governor of Harpenden NCH. I am pleased to say Philip seems to be settling down quite happily with us. We hope you will be able to visit him regularly, and that his relations in the district will also keep in touch. I suggest you see Philip every three weeks. We ask parents to visit on a Saturday. We would like you to take Philip out when you come as this makes a little outing for him, and gives you a chance to have him on your own. It is quite all right for you to have him for the whole day if you wish. I should like you to write to me at the office whenever you wish to have him, and we will always reply within a day or two letting you know if the suggested date is convenient. I suggest you make your first visit on Saturday 22nd May, as the Sister in Charge will be away on holiday the following week, and I expect you would like to see her. When you write I should be glad if you could mention the time you hope to arrive. We shall be pleased for Philip to come home to you for occasional weekends, and for part of school holidays, and, as the case of visiting, I should be glad if you would make arrangements through the office. MY ANSWER. I had been at the Home for one week and seemed to be settling down according to reports from the Sister in Charge. I tried to be good, having had a life where other than at school I have only been surrounded by adults, I am now with other children of all ages twenty-four hours a day. I have been informed that my stay will be for the period while my grandparents are ill. Therefore, I have no real idea of how long I will be staying here. All the other children in the flat I have been placed with have been here since they were very young. It is easy to understand their views that they will be staying at this Home until they leave school, and to take on similar ideas that this was probably going to be my future as well. My life seemed so different, having been used to long periods of peace and quiet. Unless I found some deserted spot outside in the grounds, there was always someone around. Even when going to bed, I had to sleep in a room with three other boys. As they were older, there was simply the knowledge that both through age and time spent here, I was going to be last in the queue for everything. The suggestion from the Governor that my mother could see me every three weeks was merely a suggestion, however my mother took this as a final decision as to how often I could have visits. From that point on unless there were other matters arising, my mother visited me every third week. Sometimes I would go to London for the weekend and on other occasions I was simply taken out on the Saturday. The Home requested that parents only visit on a Saturday. There might have been difficulties for some parents who worked six days a week. For many, Sunday would have been a much better day to visit, but as the Home was strongly Methodist, any such fun on this day would be against all the rules. These amounts of visits seemed also to be acceptable to the Sister in Charge. It appeared that there was the hint given that any more visits than this might upset others in the family group who were less fortunate over visits. With my mother wanting to visit me every third Saturday, it gave my relatives living close by little opportunity for contact with me. One set of aunts and uncles it appeared would have welcomed the odd visit. If the Sister had not wanted to see me getting visits at the Home, then I would have been quite capable of walking to my relatives’ home; it was actually in the direction of the walk I made to school each day. However, to Sister, our spare time was fully occupied with events at the Home; no visits to aunts and uncles were ever made on my own. 24. 16.05.65 Letter to Governor of Harpenden NCH from Mother. Thank you very much for your letter. I am so pleased I know Philip is settling down happily at Highfield. I shall be delighted to come on Saturday 22nd to take Philip out for the day. The train arrives at Harpenden at 9.45 am, so I should be at Highfield about 10 o’clock, I am looking forward very much to coming. Do I call at the main office first, or do I go straight to see the Sister? Thank you for your very kind attention. MY ANSWER This was my first visit from my mother; I was taken into the town for the day. There was the hope in my mind that my mother might take me back to London at the end of the day out. Late in the afternoon, I was returned to the Home. I now knew that I was here for the duration. Quite a large amount of time was spent by my mother asking Sister if I had been any trouble to her. It appeared that Sister did not have any complaints to make. |
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25. 19.05.65 Letter to Mother from Rev. Gordon. E. Barritt. NCH London. Now that Philip is in our care at Harpenden, we hope he will settle quite happily. We understand you are willing to contribute a total of two pounds per week towards his maintenance and we enclose herewith our usual Payment Agreement Form for you to sign and return as soon as possible. We note from our Accounts Department that you have already made one payment of four pounds for which a receipt has already been sent. 26. 19.05.65 Payment form Signed by The Mother I agree to pay the sum of two pounds per week to National Children’s Home and Orphanage in regular Weekly instalments of two pounds, the first to be made on the 13th May 1965, and shall continue as long as the said Philip is in the care of the National Children’s Home and Orphanage. 27. 06.07.65 Letter to Governor of Harpenden NCH from Mother. Would it be possible to have Philip home this weekend from Saturday 10.15 am until Sunday evening, 10th and 11th July. I’m sorry it’s such short notice, but my Mother is in hospital and does not appear to be returning home during the next few days. I thought it would make a good opportunity for me to have Philip while I’m free of my nursing duties. If it’s too late for a postal reply, may I ring up about 6pm on Friday, perhaps you would be kind enough to leave a message to say if he can come. Last time Philip came home we all noticed a vast improvement in him. He seemed so much more sensible and obedient. I am very grateful for all you and the Sister in Charge are doing for us. MY ANSWER. There was the comment of a vast improvement in my behaviour; for my mother to make this comment it showed I had changed. Although there had been only one physical punishment from the Sister in Charge, simply making me conform to their way of life was punishment in itself. Within a few weeks of coming into the Home, I soon found from the others that it was easier to make it look as if one was obeying every command that was given. Slowly I could feel I was getting more and more frustrated at the petty rules that seemed to have been made at some point, yet never changed even if circumstances dictated. If I did not show to be making real friends with the others in the group, it was down to being the youngest boy. With the others having later bedtimes, often starting to play games in the evening was soon interrupted with me getting sent off to bed by the Sister. I would have loved to be allowed to go out of the grounds on my own, but other than to and from school you were not allowed out of the Home without an adult. For pleasure, it was to be allowed out into the grounds on my own and not organised into any game or group activity. For the visit to my mother if there was any difference, it was that I wanted to try and not to be noticed in any way if possible. During my first time with my mother, there was the hope if I did seem to be quiet and almost invisible, there might be the chance I would not have to return to the Home. 28. 05.08.65 Report from Child Care Officer. The mother was limping when she came to the door and had a very painful and swollen leg. She has Philip home for a week’s holiday from the Branch and arranged it this week because she thought that her mother would still be in hospital and that she would be able to take Philip out. However, her mother was discharged last weekend and cannot be left for more than an hour at a time as she has now had three strokes and seems likely to have another. Philip has had to go out on his own and the mother is disappointed not to be able to join him. The mother seems to be a very conscientious lady who has given up a good deal to care for her parents. The rest of the family are all working and, though they visit her, can never stay very long. The mother is, therefore, very tied to the house. She visits Philip every third weekend and sometimes has him home. She thinks he is happy at Harpenden and that it is good for him, though of course she herself misses him very much. She is looking forward to the time when she can have him living with her again but there is no knowing how long the present situation will continue. On my return to the office I made several fruitless telephone calls to the Woman’s Voluntary Service etc., to see if anyone could relieve the mother of her duties for a few hours. What she really needs is a week’s holiday to spend with Philip and give her a break from her very demanding parents. MY ANSWER. My mother had a very bad leg for many years; the heavy work of lifting both her parents did not help matters. In the normal way, my mother would have been considered unfit for work. As no other relatives were willing to help out, my mother was left to look after both her parents every day and night. My mother thought I was happy at Highfield; when she visited everything was happy in the household. If she had really known how I felt living at the Home and how near I was to giving up, she might have found some way of taking me back. All it would have taken was for her to be firmer with the rest of her brothers and sisters over the matter of their parents and both of us might have had a more enjoyable life. My mother looking after her parents was originally going to be only a temporary solution but within months it became permanent. If life was so odd for me, it was when I was at Harpenden I was not allowed to set foot outside the grounds except for going to and from school, yet once in London I have total freedom in a built-up area with heavy traffic. At eight years old, I had enough road sense to survive, if only the Home could have realised that if they allowed me to go for walks outside the grounds. I would not come to any harm. |
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29. 06.08.65 Letter to the Mother from the Child Care Officer. I was glad to be able to meet you today. I feel that you really need to have an occasional break from your duties and am wondering if there is anyone who could relieve you for an hour or two. I have rung the W.V.S. at Hampstead but it seems they are unlikely to be able to help you. I have also been given the address of the Voluntary Services in Willesden. Maybe someone could sit in for a couple of hours while you go out. I should also bear in mind the possibility of having your mother in a Convalescent or Nursing Home for a week or two to give you a break. No doubt your family could help with this financially, as you are doing them a service. Hoping that your leg will soon be better. 30. 04.08.65 Letter to Governor of Harpenden NCH from Mother. Thank you for your letter, I give my consent for Philip to be vaccinated against smallpox, and immunised against diphtheria and whooping cough. MY ANSWER. Vaccinated against everything. Until coming to the Home, visits to the doctors had been a rare event. Other than catching measles as a very young child, general childhood illnesses had not affected me. With little contact with other children until the age of six it had not exposed me to the regular selection that other children seem to get. Even when I did start school, I remained healthy, although I did catch several colds. Possibly the protective London grime and living in a household where my grandfather could smoke forty strong unfiltered cigarettes a day and with two other members of the family not far behind, had given me protection against all ills. Other children happily took time off school with mumps and chicken pox but for me a cold was something I could snuffle through lessons with. At the age of six, there was the prospect of having my adenoids out; my speech it appeared was not having any improvement even with elocution lessons. The hospital appointment came for the week we were leaving, so no more was done about the matter. At the Home, it appeared it was best to have us all inoculated against the major diseases. Vaccination against Smallpox in the normal way would only be given to a child if they were planning to go on holiday to a problem country, although for the majority here, a holiday by the seaside was the nearest they were going to get to tropical and distant lands. As a precaution, we were vaccinated against major diseases. Compared with other injections with long needles that did sting, the actual Smallpox vaccination and the after effects went without any complications or discomfort for me. 31. 17.08.65 Report of Child Care Officer. I called on the mother to find out whether she has had any success in finding someone to stay with her parents so that she could spend some time with Philip. She is hoping that her sister will come for a day one weekend soon so that she and Philip can go out. She also said that she thinks she could have found somewhere for her parents to go away for a holiday, but they did not want to go, and she was unwilling to put undue pressure on them. However, if the situation is the same next year she will make more effort to have a break; this will probably need planning well in advance, but the Old People’s Welfare will probably be willing to help. The mother looked much fitter than when I last saw her and her leg is nearly better. 31a. November 1965. Half-Yearly Report by Sister in Charge. 8 years 10 months. General Condition: Good. Height: 4ft. 5in. Weight 4st. 8lbs. A nervy, highly-strung child, and yet he does not lack confidence. He is a little old man in some ways, and yet babyish in others. He is now much more able with other children. He is less aggressive and cries less due to frustration. He has settled very well. Interests and Hobbies. Cubs, and will be joining the Club. Very active but will settle down with pencils and paper. MY ANSWER The Sister has given her verdict on my behaviour after being in her care for six months. I was not used to such large groups of children around me all the time. If I was highly strung it was simply that I was afraid that if I did anything wrong, I would be physically punished. My main fear at night was not of my surroundings or matters like thunder and lightning, it was the single fear of wetting the bed. I forced myself to wake up during the night to visit the lavatory to prevent it happening. |
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32. 00.01.66 Report of Child Care Officer. The mother was enjoying having Philip home for the Christmas holidays and was looking much fitter than when I saw her in the summer. She is still very much tied to the house as her mother has frequent attacks of illness and she cannot leave her alone for long. Although the rest of the family promised to give her a lot of help, they always seem to be busy and she does not get much support. The mother said she feels that she needs a break from caring for her parents and I suggested that the rest of the family should be able to pay for someone to look after them for a week while they go away in the summer. She agreed this might be a good idea, and I hope she will follow it up. Philip came in later and was obviously enjoying his holiday. He is very excitable and talkative and not a bit shy, although I had not seen him before. He has to go out on his own most of the time when he is at home, but he is very resourceful and seems to know his way around. He talked happily about Harpenden and of the other children in the family and appears well adjusted to life there. His mother visits him regularly every third week and takes him home, and helps make him feel secure. The mother said she misses him very much and would love to have him home all the time, but under the present circumstances, feels that there is far too much strain on the relations within the family, although for a week at a time it is very satisfactory to have Philip at home. Of course the mother has no idea how long she will be required to look after her parents. Philip seems bright and intelligent, although his mother said he lacks concentration and feels this is probably why he does not do very well at school. This confirms the original school report that we received. It would be interesting to know whether Philip has become more settled since his stay at Harpenden and how he behaves towards the other children in the family. MY ANSWER. A different Child Care Officer visiting me for the first time chose the best |